whimsicalism | MUSIC ROOM

[Yasu knows that it's probably not the best idea to bother A so soon after the game of hide and seek, so instead, after noodling around with the piano a bit, Yasu leaves a note, some more cookies (cinnamon-sugar this time, and slightly better baked at that), and a doll with blond hair behind (thanks Emma), tucked in an obscure corner where hopefully the Little Brothers won't be able to find it.]

Miss,
I'm sorry for bothering you again so soon, but one of my classmates got a doll in a vending machine from my home. Another friend of mine who couldn't hold a corporeal form used it as a vessel sometimes; I did ask her for permission about whether you could use it and she said yes, so it should be nice and comfortable for you.

Now that I've properly met you, I was hoping to redo my drawing. It might sound silly to you, but... giving something a proper form can go a long way to making it more real and able to be "seen." I truly believe that. However, I understand that telling me about what you physically look like is dangerous—if the principal finds it somehow, he could deduce that you've still here. I'd like to do this for you regardless, though! Like... how old are you, for one? Is there anything you'd like me to put in there? All of that sort of thing! I'd still like it for it to feel you more than that sheep I drew earlier, even if I can't actually draw you.

Have a good day,
S
S
Yasu

[Mighty articulate for a "nine" year-old.]

Edited 2022-08-18 20:55 (UTC)

[Much later, there's a note found under Yasu's door:]

Thank you, my friend. The best I can do right now is say I'm fourteen. I think maybe if you could draw me with a flute, I'd like that.

Also, I do love dolls. Having one of my own again makes me more happy than I can say even if I'm using it as a vessel right now. Thank you so much and the cookies are very tasty, to boot.

[It's not signed, of course, but if Yasu looks for the doll she'll find it in the spot she placed it but facing in a different direction with a pen clutched in it's little hand.]

[Fun fact: this is the first time a human other than Jessica has seriously called Yasu a friend! She is going to Need A Moment after this for a little while!!!!

She works furiously over the course of the next few hours to sketch the drawing for A, this has to be the Best Thing That She's Ever Made or Yasu will perish. She even references some human anatomy textbooks to fix her problems with drawing profiles incorrectly and messing up the size of body parts.

What she ends up with is a early teens-ish looking girl, drawn with past-the-shoulder, curly, blonde hair (sorry, A, the Little Brother is still the best mental image she has of the physical-you). Two ribbons with a black-and-white pattern are bow-tied in her hair where Yasu put the horns on the first drawing. She wears a mask covering the top half of her face that's arranged like a waxing crescent moon, one eye slit in the white of the moon, the other in the darkness of the night. There's a note explaining that Yasu felt weird drawing her face when she's never seen it and so made a mask instead; she further details her rationale by saying that nighttime is the safest time to practice magic, is when she met A in the first place, and that Yasu always liked reading by moonlight. Also, she thought the moon design looked pretty.

The gijinka is clothed in a frilly, mostly-black dress, but wrapped around the torso are musical notes on a staff that are actually melody fragments from the small bits of notation that Yasu scribbled down in her notebook on the way to the music room before they turned to ash; if A looks closely, she'll find that the patterns on the ribbon are the same. The cuffs of the dress, however, are cluttered with buttons and silver lining that mimic the valves of a flute, and similar buttons and knobs are on the boots of the outfit. And, of course, the girl is posed and properly playing a flute.

Accompanying the drawing that definitely took out time that Yasu should've been using to study for the spelling bee and her classwork is another note.]

Here you are! This is my first time drawing for someone else; I didn't think you were going to notice that first doodle, if I'm being honest.

I was wondering, would you like to come to the co-ed dance inside the doll? It must be lonely having to make your own fun all the time, and when I heard that Reika is accompanying Jeanne, I thought it wouldn't be too strange to take you with me too so you don't miss out. You won't be able to move or talk much, but being there with someone should still be better than hovering at the edges at best, and I think the Little Brothers believe I'm childish enough that bringing a doll to a party wouldn't make them bat an eye.

Truthfully, I'd also love to have a friend like you there... everyone is nice, but all the people are overwhelming sometimes.

I hope you enjoy,
Yasu

Edited 2022-08-18 22:57 (UTC)

[A is definitely charmed by this. When Yasu finds the next note, the penmanship is extra careful as if she was taking the extra care into writing it.]

Even if I like staying in the music room things have been so lively lately that I do check on things elsewhere if I can. I'd love to join you for the dance. The doll might be a little obvious but don't worry. If you can find me something that won't draw notice to the dance I can hide in that. I might not be able to communicate easily with you but you'll know I'm there.

I understand, Yasu. I've been in rowdy groups before but being alone or with closer company isn't so bad.

Your eye for detail is quite good, I must say, though. I only hope I can help you in the days to come.

[The day after the dance, Yasu comes to the music room again. This time, she lingers rather than dropping a letter and leaving. Yasu sits at the piano, her shaking fingers tapping out an equally shaky melody that wanders through A's song.

She doesn't speak for almost ten minutes. Yasu just plays the song, struggling to force the admission through her throat. But it does eventually come, whispered underneath the melody, like it's physically painful for her to say.]

...I'm, um, twelve years old. Not nine. [Yasu exhales sharply, like she'd been holding a breath in for three years.] I don't know why Genji and Kumasawa and Nanjo told me to lie about m- my age. Something to do with my, er, "physical development," I think, but they were always v- vague.

I... [A pause as she forces out another painful truth.] If, if I die or disappear or something, I... don't want plain, shy Yasu to be the only one that's remembered. [She spits her name out with a derision that A's only seen a hint of, when the Principal finally got under her skin.] I want someone to know the r- real me, at least a little bit.

[Yasu has to search for the right words again, but they don't elude her as long this time.] I'm glad to be here, as... pathetic... as that is. It's like I'm more welcome here than at Gospel House, or Rokkenjima, or anywhere. Which is, er, silly. Especially now. It's just... I've never, um, had so many friends before, s- so I can't shake the thought. [She sighs.] But everyone else is friends with Yasu. T- The girl who can't stop stuttering. The nine year-old who's such a doormat that she looks for orders when she's finally free. And I am all those things, but... I'm more, too. At least I like to think I am, as a- awful a job I do with, um, showing it.

[Her voice is fragile.] ...I still remember when you called me "bright." And said you liked my drawing, and my cookies, and a bunch of other things. It made me feel like I'm someone other than Yasu, for once.

I think that's why you're the one I'm telling all this too. [She trails off, getting lost in her playing.]

Edited 2022-08-21 12:48 (UTC)

[During most of this there's silence in the room. Not empty silence, however. The slight coolness in the air is present. The doll of Beatrice doesn't move but it's eyes are focused on Yasu. Yes, there's silence but it's silence with a purpose.

A's listening. Then there's a slight nod from the doll.]

I think we're a lot alike. Wanting to be noticed, to be special despite how other people shine... Wanting desperately to be the person people don't remember as the person who used to stumble over their own name... I don't want to be remembered as any of those things.

[A's gaze is hard to interpret when she's possessing a doll.] Thanks for letting me know. Finally being able to do something you want to do despite what might be 'better' is really freeing. I might not be able to show it much yet but I do appreciate what you've done for me. After all, you were the one who covered for me back when I possessed that load of tin.

[A little hand, cool to the touch but probably not unwelcome, touches Yasu's.]

Wanting to show someone a bit of your true self is understandable. [A thinks, considers. Then she speaks:] Why don't we consider this a game? There's a game I've heard about called 'Truth or Dare'... If you pick truth, you have to say something true and if you say dare you have to do something the other person asks. You picked 'Truth' and I asked you a question and now it's my turn. That way if anyone asks we were just talking to each other, hm?

[Her voice is a little sly, a little conspiratorial. Of course, it's broken by a little laugh.] I understand, though. I don't want them to know what I don't like about myself. Sometimes I still feel like a little kid, waiting at home for my parent to return. I grew up but some things don't feel like they did.

[Understanding is something that Yasu has always wanted, but never quite found. In the eyes of the other servants, of the other orphans, of Jessica, of everyone, Yasu was a background extra who needed to be scolded whenever she got in the way of the main players at worst, or a side character who was appreciated but never regarded at best. Even with Kumasawa, there was a disconnect, some kind of melancholy fog in her old eyes that Yasu could never make herself seen through.

So as painful as it is to hear that A has gone through enough that she could understand... Yasu's glad, too. Despite how cold A's presence is, being seen for once in her life fills her with warmth. Yasu flinches at A's frosty grasp, but she finally stops her playing to wrap her hand around the doll's tiny one as delicately as she can manage, and whisper-shouts,] You were really brave, too! Getting our attention like that must've been risky, so... I'm glad that I helped, even a little bit.

[She nods, listening raptly to A's proposal. Something about the tone of her voice makes Yasu blush, the red in her cheeks highlighted by how cold the air is, but she doesn't pay it any mind.] I, um, understand. I never had any parents, but... that feeling of waiting, like your life can't start until something—no, someone—precious comes back... I get it, I think. [The times between Battler's visits weren't defined by a burning, feverish longing, at least not yet. But there was a spark there, one that made it feel like if Yasu just found the courage to reach out for it the next time he visited, her life would finally start somehow. That everything would be fine, that she'd have someplace to belong to instead of being just another orphan.

(An echo of that spark begins to stir, shaking off the frost slowly, but it's nascent. So subtle that Yasu doesn't even notice enough of it to dismiss.)]

It's my turn now, right? Um... [Yasu taps her chin with her free hand, pondering.] I... It's not that I don't want to tell people more about myself. I just plain can't. Every time I try to, I... something wraps around my throat. Tells me that I can't speak yet. That it's... "not my role to play."

For some reason, it's, um, easier with you. It's still so hard, l- like I have to break a chain with nothing but my bare hands. It took hours to get enough strength to force how old I really am through, but at least it was... possible, with you.

I can do it when I'm "playing a game" like this, though. That's something else I don't understand. [A pause as she bites her lip.] I'm... scared. I never had to follow rules like this back home. It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, with how dangerous everything is, but it still scares me. I don't now what changed when I was brought here from there, b- but something did, and I feel less me than I did before.

[A realization hits her. This time, when Yasu stops, a faint smile lights up on her face despite the anxiety that strangled her throat and wrapped its way around her confession.] I think I know why it's easier to tell you, now that I'm thinking about it.

But isn't it your turn now? I, um, don't just want to focus on how bad I feel. Especially since hearing you... it makes me feel better, I think.

Edited 2022-08-22 04:23 (UTC)

[Poking his head in.]

Hello?

[There's almost nothing new here...but A responds.]

Yuta, right?

Sometimes when your back is against the wall the slimmest of chances is better than nothing.

[She sounds... rather pleased at hearing that. If the doll could puff up it's chest, it definitely would be right now.] I love my Daddy--[She pauses, as if embarrassed then changes the phrasing quickly. She was the older one, after all!]--Dad but waiting forever isn't something I could do. Sometimes you just have to grow up. [If this was Round One I'd make a Neverland reference but alas.]

Even if it's hard... I'm so glad you can open up to me. That means a lot. I don't really have many people to talk to, you know? [She seems to sigh when she says that.] I don't even have any dolls here apart from the one you gave me.

[The doll pats her arm again.] We're friends now, right? Think of me as just part of the doll if it makes it easier to talk. That's what both dolls and friends are for, at least that's what I think.

[She pauses.]

I think I can understand that, too. That you're not quite yourself... maybe it's just a side effect of this place. Maybe it's Closetland or the fact that the Academy seems to be changing overnight.

[There's an embarrassed laugh.] I guess it is my turn now, huh. I guess it's just easier for me to talk like it's a game. Something being a game makes me feel better. They have rules. Structure. Even a childish game like playing house has structure in it's own way but this game that the Principal set... I don't like it.

[Oh so she IS here. He steps inside, shutting the door behind him.]

Yeah, that's right. I guess I just had some questions, if you have time?

Sure; ask away!

[She seems happy to help.]

Can you tell me anything about what your life was like before you ended up here?

I’m guessing you mean before I met the Principal, right? I can do that though it was a bit weird…

Yeah, back then. And... I mean, we have talking animals here, so I think I'm ready to hear about weird stuff.

I was going to get some help with classes then I woke up in a school in the middle of an ocean? It was weird… but nice. I got to meet a lot of pretty girls!

Edited 2022-08-27 08:23 (UTC)

...Do you remember any details about the school? Like its name or stuff like that.

Well, it was always summer for one… the school grounds just dipped off into the water. Not really good with names, sorry.

Edited 2022-08-27 08:37 (UTC)

...It was always summer?

[Weird indeed.]

An endless summer! No teachers, no parents. Just us. It was nice.

Wait, it was still a school, though?

Did everyone end up there the same way?

It was more like an abandoned building by the time I arrived. Honestly, I wish I knew. It was a bit of a mystery to us… for the longest time it was just me and these three other girls. Can’t tell you their names right now. The Principal might hear.

Why, do you think he'll bring them here too?

I mean, wouldn’t you think that in my position?

No, it's fair, I guess. I just don't really know how much power the principal has yet.

Anyway, anything else about that school?

MUSIC ROOM

Week 0, Thursday Evening

no subject

This would be Friday then

no subject

Week 0, Sunday Afternoon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject